Becoming a Family

I debate myself sometimes. It's surprisingly, frustratingly, not a one-sided conversation. From a positive perspective, this helps me to make better considered decisions. On the negative side, it makes it harder for me to come to firm resolution. I see both sides. Or, I see how something may be the case and that it also may not be the case. (I'm reminded of Lewis CK here - "Things that aren't can't be!") Anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is that I see a lot of gray and that gray is sometimes confusing, but it's okay to accept that ideas and life are a bit muddy.

You see, in many ways "my family" started on my wedding day. And the process to become a family started before that, with all the prep. But, we so often don't think of a couple as being a family. We look for some blood relation or generational connection. I'm not saying that the couple isn't a family; in fact, I'm suggesting the opposite, but that it's not the most common idea that comes to mind, especially with phrases like "when will you start a family?" being thrown around after becoming a couple.

In any case, I've wanted to have a family, with kids, for as long as I can remember. I wanted to have children before I was thirty, because my mom was thirty when she had me and I wanted to be younger. That's not how it happened. I was already well past thirty when I married, and my husband wanted to wait at least a few months before we'd be open to .

After some negotiation, we agreed to "try." It happened faster than we thought it would...and ended just as quickly. I knew miscarriage was a possibility, but I didn't really understand what it meant until I experienced it myself. I suspect the fear that followed that took away much of the potential joy for the early part of my next pregnancy, but days turned into weeks, which turned into months. Happily, we welcomed our Dragon Princess (DP) three months ago.

And so, I say we're becoming a family. MJ and I started to become a family when we agreed to stay together, to support one another, to intertwine our crazy birth families through our marriage. Our cats are part of our family. We continue to form our family now with the addition of DP. This family will no doubt continue to evolve. And, I invite you on this wild adventure of thought, experience, and love along the way. Welcome to Our Brave New Home.